One of the leading causes of suicide is silence
And we are ending that silence together.
You can view the text in the book here. The words were chosen by people in the project. Some are letters, quotes from those who passed away, and some messages of inspiration and hope.
The Survive project began in 2017 and concluded in 2018. The project documented suicide survivors in Spokane, Washington. This page is dedicated to seeing everyone in one place online, now that the big opening show has already happened.
I decided to do a project about suicide survivors because the continuing self-portrait series I started in 2013 helped me get through a lot with what I call visual art catharsis, a physical representation expressing the pain that accompanies having mental illness outside of myself rather than keeping it locked up, blank, silent. I have concluded that one of the leading causes of suicide is silence and together we are breaking that silence through starting a conversation in our community with this series and the book.
So much has happened throughout the course of this project. It’s hard to put into words the impact that has been made through so many sources. Spokane Arts awarded me a SAGA grant to finish the project. Adriana Janovich of The Spokesman-Review wrote articles about the project including interviews of myself, Debra, Paul and Diana. Samantha Wohlfeil of The Inlander wrote a great article as well, as did Darin Burt in Spokane Coeur d’Alene Magazine available to read here. I also talked with Stephanie Regalado on ‘She Says’ Podcast through Spokane Talks, you can watch it on this link. I also spoke with Cassy Benefield of Spokane Faith and Values as a side note to her interview with my friend Tommie who was a subject in the series, you can read that incredible article here.
This project has had tons of coverage and the night of the show was in a word… lit. Yes, we were gathered to discuss a deeply troubling topic yet the sense of togetherness and solidarity was palpable. It was an emotional and beautiful evening of sharing.
Check out this awesome video by Spokane Event Photography.
The evening we all spent together was incredible. There was poetry, a time of sharing among people in the project and others in the community, food and wine that was donated from multiple sources like my agent/boss Jeremiah Sargent and the Downtown Grocery Outlet owners Sage and Jack Dunaway. Ellen and Larry Weiser were also sponsors and my amazing parent-in-laws Craig and Margo as well as my friend Debra who was in the project helped set up everything the day of the show and my friend Julie Gautier-Downes who is the Executive Director of Richmond Art Collective where the photos were taken helped me hang the show (it’s so much better hanging a show with two people!).
This whole event took a small army and lets not forget the 27 courageous individuals who participated in the project to show us what surviving looks like. You can see all their photos below.
This project changed my life. Every person in the project impacted me deeply. When I started to photograph suicide survivors, they weren’t aware that I was personally ambiguous about suicide. As a person with bipolar, becoming suicidal can be an intermittent fact of life. After photographing people who lost someone to suicide with a diagnosis of bipolar, it felt especially personal. In those survivors I could sense what it would be like for my family, spouse, friends and community. I am not here to shame or dishonor those who made that choice, at all. I’ve concluded that the journey is the journey. It simply exists. Remarking on it as good/bad/evil/liberating or anything in between is not necessary or productive, and in another sense I honor the journey of those who have the perspectives that they do in these matters and do not judge them as I would prefer not to be judged for my views. All the people who were photographed helped me affirm my desire to continue on even in the darkest moments when doing so feels like an impossibility.
Some participants have told me that the book or being in it has saved their life. The very idea of that is moving beyond words. I’ve often felt that art saved my life and that art saves lives in many capacities in different ways. I did not anticipate that this project would become so profoundly impactful to the people in it or for those who were exposed to it. This project was intense to complete, and fully a worthwhile use of energy and time.
There aren’t adequate expressions to thank all who have been involved. I have so much gratitude for all who have been supportive along the way that helped me see this project to completion. Thank you family, thank you friends, thank you people in the project, thank you Phil and Bonnie for the many hours and months spent encouraging me, thanks to the media for spreading awareness of the project especially Adriana Janovich for the four beautiful articles in the Spokesman, to Spokane Arts for financial support of this endeavor and thank you Spokane for being a city that cares about the well being of others.
The book can be purchased here through blurb.com.